Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Marching On

Ok, I know it's still February - but March is coming into view and it's likely to be very much the same as February has been, so I'm going with that play on words for the title of this post. I find it adequately reflects my restless, anticipatory mental jogging-in-place that always happens at this time of year.

Sure, sure, Seasonal Affective Disorder is biological. Ya, ya, things would look brighter if I would take a nice Vitamin D supplement. In truth, I just need to learn to wrap my head around the fact that once Christmas and New Years celebrations end, winter still stretches on into infinity. Somehow all that mid-winter excitement seems like a bookend - even after 30-some years I expect that spring will be turning over a new leaf as I turn over a new calendar. Not so. Despite the short month of February, these weeks leading up to spring dawdle along, taking me on a roller coaster of elation and despondency with each thaw and freeze.

Probably my whole attitude can be summed up in OtherHalf's assessment:
  "You can't do everything at once, you know."
This comment was in reply to me making suggestions (ok, maybe whining and wheedling) about livestock purchases. Kijiji fuels my fire. I'll bet the real reason we moved waaaaay out to MiddleOfNowhere Boyle is so that I'm unable to just pick up every last four-legged critter for sale online. Seems like every animal advertised is at least an hour away. Now, if it was going to be a 15 minute drive, I'd simply stuff that nanny goat right in the backseat of my Volkswagen Jetta. But an hour and forty-two minutes is a bit too long to put up with the kind of shenanigans only a confined goat can get into. So, every now and then OtherHalf happens onto Kijiji to look for a truck or a trailer or something responsible, and then has to spend ages clearing out all the alpaca and heritage chicken ads I've got on our "watchlist".

What is it about my nature that compels me to do this? I'm not a hoarder - I've moved enough times in my life to know that Stuff is expendable. I'm definitely not a workaholic; not really looking for things to fill up my time. Time - that's what it comes down to. All my life I've felt like there's just not enough time. Like if I don't hurry up and try something now I'll miss my chance. In my head I know that it makes more sense to get a milk cow later on, once the weather is warm. Who wants to trudge out in -25* to wrap freezing cold hands around grungy cow teats at 7am? However, I want a milk cow right NOW! Quick! I need to make cheese! I need to try clotted cream!
   Ridiculous. I know it. It's the same with the goats. I find all sorts of reasons why we should get goats - I've finally convinced OtherHalf that it's a good idea. He is, however, irritatingly smart and practical and points out the fact that we have no fencing to keep goats in. I must be patient and wait 'til spring, so we can fence, and then get goats.
   AAAAARRGH! Spring! Dratted Spring! Everything is on hold 'til then. I've got seedlings coming up in little pots in the house, and all the old-timers "tut tutting" because it's too early.... gotta wait 'til closer to spring....
   Our neighbour came the other day with his Giant Tractor and plowed out my favorite driveway. (This is yet another example of my brain. My favorite driveway sweeps in a graceful curve right through our hayfield. It's nothing but a set of tracks on packed clay. The wind blows it in promptly, the clay turns to sloppy goo in wet weather, and it makes harvesting a real pain. BUT I love it and I want to plant fruit trees along it, to arch over and make a magical fairy tale lane. I want a great huge gate at the end of it, with a sign for our farm. Happily, OtherHalf humors me in these aspirations, despite the extreme impracticality of them.) In any case, this massive bazgillion-wheeled tractor pushed through the deep drifted snow with ease, and I wanted him to plow off my whole garden just so I could see the dirt. Sheesh.

   And then this morning's devotion is about patience. About patiently waiting for God's timing. And I'm reminded that He hasn't made this season in this way solely to drive me bonkers. If I can just change my attitude, January, February, March and April could be a lovely time of year. A peaceful time with cozy hours of painting, crocheting and cups of tea. A good time to take a correspondence course online. Catch up on reading. Or blogging ;)
   The trick is, as usual, gratefulness. As Madame Blueberry put it: "A grateful heart is a happy heart." Or, if you're looking for a more reliable source than an animated antioxidant; King Solomon writes (in Ecclesiastes, of all places!) "Furthermore, as for every man to whom God has given riches and wealth, He has also empowered him to eat from them and to receive his reward and rejoice in his labor; this is the gift of God. For he will not often consider the years of his life, because God keeps him occupied with the gladness of his heart." (Ecc. 5:19, 20)
Has God given me riches and wealth? You bet. In less than a year He has given me my heart's desire: a farm, gardens, a handful of horses, calves in the pen, chickens in the coop. And that's just material stuff - the blessings he's brought to my heart are overwhelmingly abundantly more than I ever expected. And has He empowered me to eat from my riches and receive my reward? Absolutely. My pantry shelves are still full of pickles and applesauce and my freezer overflows with the best beef I've eaten in 10 years. How about the empowerment to rejoice?
   Aha. Herein lies the rub. I am empowered to rejoice, and I've got plenty of reasons to do so. But I find myself watching the snow blow around the grey sky and my thoughts drift with it. I get all complainey and pathetic and put on my "planning blinders". That's like a plow horse bridle with blinders... I just look ahead at what I want done and forget all about everything behind and around me. Maybe that works for horses, but it's not good for me. If I'm ever going to make it through the shack-wacky stages of winter I've gotta get a grip on this "rejoice" concept. Because if I can see this quarter of a year as a time to sit back and enjoy the fruits of my labour, then God promises to keep me so busy with the gladness of my heart that I won't have time to think about myself. Now that sounds good.

On that note, I did have one little break in the clouds yesterday. A marvelous new idea that was agreed upon and put into action within the day:
8:30am - OtherHalf and I began discussing the mangels fed to dairy cows on our new favorite documentary series, "Victorian Farm" (you can watch these BBC shows on www.dailymotion.com)
9am - I find mangel seeds for sale in a heritage seed catalogue. Expensive!
9:17am - google "growing mangels in Alberta"
9:19am - find an ad on kijiji for an Ontario farm selling Red Mammoth Mangel seeds.
9:20am - appeal to OtherHalf. Brainstorm about planting mangels in the future orchard.
9:22am - reply to kijiji ad
 ----- wait-----
10:07am - receive reply from CowBoss at Wallace Springs Cattle Company.

Invoice followed, Paypal payment came next, and before suppertime I had confirmation that 1/8lb of mangel wurzel seed will be in the mail this morning. Now that was quick farm work!
There are some raised eyebrows in the community already - despite the fact that mangels were common fodder in Britain for decades, maybe even centuries, no one in this neck of the woods has even heard of them. (In case any of my devoted readers aren't familiar with them either: mangel wurzels are a type of beet that can grow up to 20 lbs each. They are high in protein, iron, and all sorts of other good vitamins and minerals; store well for months and can be chopped up and fed to livestock. The tops also get huge and are even more nutritious than the roots, and can be made into silage.)
When OtherHalf asked a nearby farmer if he had any experience with mangels, the bewildered fellow replied "Doesn't that girl do anything normal?"

Well, you tell me.

(By the way, you can check out your friendly neighbourhood mangel seed supplier at www.wallacesprings.blogspot.ca)

1 comment:

  1. A: thank God this girl does NOT do normal!
    B: have you progressed in your rejoicing during this quarter of the year?

    ReplyDelete